Journal of Tatsumi Seiichirou

09:25 pm - Ill Consequences

All actions have consequences. Whether good or ill, immediate or distant, they are inescapable. To suggest otherwise stretches the most hypothetical of circumstances I can imagine. Furthermore, if an action can be guaranteed to have no negative consequences, despite the paucity of consideration informing its implementation, I would suggest it can likely have no positive consequences as well. In that case, what would be the point of pursuing that course? ( Read more... )

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
WC: 180

09:50 pm - [Belated] Regretted Wishes

Have you ever regretted a wish you made? Why/what happened?

[Locked against other Shinigami]

I was twenty-seven and I had just returned my mother to our small residence following my younger sister's wedding.

Miraculously, after so many years, my sister had managed to find a man willing to marry her. She modestly delighted in his company and I can only assume his affection was similarly genuine; my sister was no longer a maiden and our family was not wealthy.

My mother had dutifully hidden her unhappiness at the wedding. Inside our rooms, she told me of the weddings she had attended as a girl, which she had hoped would be a model for her own. If only my father--

But she had not drunk enough at the wedding to talk much about my father.

She told me that she knew I worked hard and how pleased she was that I could give my sister a new, if plain kimono to be married in.

I did not know what to tell her-- the kimono had required me to undertake yet another loan.

In time, my mother began to cry-- it was her fault my sister's wedding was so cheap, that everything was wrong. That she would never see her grandchildren because she was such an embarrassment to my sister. That she deserved to be abandoned as she had been such a poor mother to us both.

As I held her and told her kind lies that might stop her tears, I wished, briefly, that there were some way for me to leave my mother's side, if only to travel to find a better job to better support her.

Six months later, I had found a better job in a town five days walk away.

I could travel because my mother was dead.

巽 征一郎
Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
WC: 287

11:27 am - [locked to renkinjutsushi]

My angst tastes like...

Cherry
Find your angst's flavor


Alluring and sexy, your angst seems to be coming from a desire to, well, get laid. You want love, romance, seduction, and a night you'll never forget. Yet while every person wants that to some degree, you seem especially desperate and troubled over it. What you probably truly need, and you know this, is a good, healthy, and romantic relationship. You simply get caught up in passion and always skip straight to the steamy ending. Your fiery affection will no doubt make your future lover very happy, but try to fan the flames now for your own health so you don't overheat and also for others so you don't burn off any prospects.

Watari, if you would do me the kindness of making your own attempt at this ridculous quiz?

08:40 am - More belated responses

[locked against shi_no_koinu and not_your_uke]

Who has had the most influence on your life?

In many respects, someone I have never met had the greatest influence on my life.

I am the bastard child of a European and a Japanese.

( Read more... )


Describe the best 24 hours you ever had.

1. Konoe offering me the position of secretary.
2. Sitting with Tsuzuki-san after the events in Kyoto.
3. The first session with my teacher in which I successfully employed shadow-teleporting.
4. Discovering lime daiquiris.
( Read more... )


Who would you like to see get their final comeuppance? Who is it and just what would you do with them?

This question is, I expect, very easy for many. Outside the bounds of fate and karma, I can think of someone whom I would very strongly like to see receive their comeuppance. But that thought is best left unrealised, and their identity undescribed and the particulars of their punishment unimagined.

In the business I am in, I have had occasion to see many, many souls stymied in the progress by the desire for revenge and other petty jealousies. While it is a desire I sympathise with, particularly when it seems clear that the individual deserves some retribution, I have too often seen its consequences to laud or recommend it.

Instead, I take comfort in the inexorable march of time. My enemy will in time die, whether I take an active interest in promoting their death, their suffering, or indeed, their health. I trust in the judgments of those worthier than I.


What do I have to be thankful for?

I am thankful for to enjoy an occupation that suits my skills, allows me to benefit society and provides stimulating challenges regularly. I am thankful that my colleagues are capable, resourceful and genial. My occupation is more enjoyable for their contributions.

( Read more... )

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
454 443 / 303274 / 151 / 249

10:00 pm - Heartache & Unexpected Windfalls

Does heartache make you stronger?

Heartache is suffering without hope. It is a stress that impairs one's ability to function in much the way any other type of stress may do. Heartache encourages one to spend long, inefficient hours considering problems that are unsolvable. It promotes irrational behaviour and alters one's priorities to reflect a similarly inefficient distribution of effort. While heartache may be unavoidable, it is something in those cases to be endured, but not lauded.

One does not learn from heartache. If that were the case, it could be argued that in the long term, heartache provided some form of strength. However, in my experience, all that heartache prepares one for is to accept further heartache without demur, and in some cases, to seek heartache when that state becomes too familiar or entrenched for one to believe that any other state is possible. Such passivity is the hollowness to weather finite catastrophes, but by no means compares to the solid strength one gains from contentedness.

If you won the equivalent of $2000, and had to spend it, what would you spend it on?

I would first review any documentation accompanying the 'win'. Considering my circumstances, I would be suspicious of any 'lottery' proclaiming me the winner. The most reasonable expected windfall would arrive in the form of my tax return, which has never in some fifty years approached the denomination this question describes.

My second qualification of this question would be to consider whether the amount I would hypothetically to receive is the Yen amount of 2000 US dollars, or whether the question implies an amount cultural adjusted by the applicable standard of living in the country of the respondent (ie Japan). I have chosen to consider a large, but not substantial amount of money.

Depending on the conditions of 'spending' imposed by the conditions of the windfall, I would spend the money on investments. Their particulars would be impossible to predict in so loosely sketched a hypothetical situation. If the conditions imposed did not consider this to be an appropriate avenue of expenditure, I would spend the money on a catered office party, including a significant portion dedicated to a bar 'tab'.

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
162 / 180

11:28 pm - Disappointment / Problems

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

What one might term 'disappointing' circumstances are most often the result of poor work, misapplication of effort or unreasonably held expectations. I work my position to the best of my ability and attempt to hold reasonable expectations of the future. Thus, I am not often disappointed.

I am aware that budget forecasts received from the accounts department should be taken with a grain of salt. I am aware, after some fifty years, that excess funds will never reach our division. I am aware that all financial contingency plans aside, accidents do happen, and happen frequently in our division. I am aware that, sometimes, doing all that I can will regardless not be enough.

In spite of my resolve, I must admit that events sometimes do not flow in the direction I had anticipated. In those cases, I will seek a solution to the error ignoring rather than contemplating my emotional reaction.

Do you confront your problems head on, or ignore them until you have to do something? Do you procrastinate?

This question reminds me of several previous topics. I understand that the constituency of this community is loose, but I have been a part of it from the outset. I find returns to such topical areas repetitive.

Therefore, and in summary of my previous responses, I choose to deal with confrontations by the physical defence of myself and those under my protection. My weapon of choice, in this circumstance, would be the shadows that I control. With one exception, I have the strongest offensive capability amongst my colleagues. I would be confident of success through this manner of action.

For any other types of problem, I would also be confident of meeting them directly and seeking a suitable solution as soon as possible. I do not believe that one should shirk one's responsibilities, nor run from one's problems.

If direct action does not solve the problem, I cannot believe that inaction would serve better.

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
WC: 150 / 154

11:16 am

Tatsumi enters the break room mid-morning for yet another cup of coffee. It is too early for lunch, but too late for any stragglers.

Or so Tatsumi would have thought, yet, someone is there, whom Tatsumi might have avoided during the morning meeting-- had Tsuzuki arrived early enough to attend it.

Tsusuki's face is obscured by the refridgerator door, but it is clearly Tsuzuki-- he is talking to himself, describing and rating the contents vis-a-vis their potential as snacks.

They say nothing replaces old love like new love, and Tatsumi finds that this is true. Tsuzuki is an attractive man, and he always will be, but the sight of him no longer burns Tatsumi's blood.

Last night, Watari-- it was only his fingers, but Tatsumi feels so... opened and possessed. That memory, that twinge that he can still feel, compels him forward. He can hear Watari's half-bemused, half-irritated voice within his mind: "Seii, talk to him. Get it over with."

"Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi says, stepping forward, "could I trouble you for a moment of your time?"

12:13 am - Leading or Following

Would you rather lead or follow? Why? What role do you see yourself playing out over your life, leader or follower?

I have some experience of leading, both past and appreciably recent. I understand that my leadership skills are acceptable, their application well-received. My first experience with leadership strongly made me consider that I might be uniquely suited to leading. Thus, when presented with the opportunity, I have preferred to lead and my experience following has been limited, if not to say non-existent.

I have encountered persons with very strong aptitudes (and preferences) for both leading and following. I have also had several, stimulating discussions on this topic with someone who, like a number of respondents so far, would suggest an amendment to the question: that one may lead and follow as circumstances and inclination suggest. I have come to agree with him and question my earlier assumption.

At this time, I can offer no definitive answer to the question, only elaborations on the theme. ( Read more... )

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
WC: 359

10:00 pm - Children

I find this to be a rather insensitive question. There are, I understand, a great many people beings in this community who are incapable of having children. Of these, I expect some would enjoy the opportunity.

As per my answer to the previous week's topic, I am dead. I cannot sire children. I did not sire children when I was alive, though I had planned to. I died age twenty-nine, before I had found a suitable wife.

While it would be technically feasible that one could re-enter the cycle of life from my current position outside of it, I know from my previous life's experience that this alone does not guarantee that Watari would follow me I would find a suitable wife, or gain children. I could not sacrifice my present situation for so flimsy a possibility.

My current existence is also unsuitable for raising children. I work full-time, and often both days of the weekend; this is not negotiable. Beyond that, I would never condemn a child to an ageless existence. To be twenty-nine, or even fifteen forever may be borne easier than seven or three.

Part of the joy of children is watching them grow and mature, their delight in the world as they learn it, the pride one may have in their achievements, in who they come to be. To separate a child from this is unnatural.

Finally, to bluntly answer the question: responsibility in both their professional and emotional lives, that it is acceptable to expect returns based on the effort one applies to them.

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
WC: 259 254

11:14 pm - Do I Believe in an Afterlife?

I am not certain what I could contribute to this week's question beyond the declaration that I am already dead, yet still sufficiently cognisant to be writing a reply.

The afterlife is the physical reality within which I interact daily. I work in the Shokan (Summoning) division of JuOhCho, a department of the Bureau of Death. We, collectively, process the souls of the dead, the sum of their lives and deeds, so that they may re-enter the living world (one hopes) a little wiser. My colleagues are all dead. The subjects of our cases are all dead, though they often refuse to accept their change of status.

As a side observation, belief or disbelief in an afterlife appears to have little bearing on whether a soul accepts their death or not.

Perhaps I would qualify that I do not precisely 'believe' in an afterlife. Belief would seem to imply some choice, some faith in one's answer. It would also imply some uncertainty in one's answer, something unknowable.

I do not believe in an afterlife. I know that there is one.

巽 征一郎

Tatsumi Seiichirou
Yami no Matsuei
WC: 180